Read the Title again.
Think about it for a few moments.
Things Happen For A Reason.
Really? That would imply that there is something more to this time on earth than just the time itself.
(Think about THAT for a minute.)
Last night, some bad things happened in my life, concerning my daughter, and our relationship.
I found out that she believes me to NOT be her greatest fan anymore. Nothing could be further from the truth. I love that girl with all my heart, and do not understand why I am being pushed away.
She said some very mean, and unkind things to me, and I, in return, said some unkind things back to her.
I have no excuse for my behaviour, I am the older, and more experienced one of the group. I should know better.
As I sat and pondered these and other "Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda" thoughts, I felt myself slipping mentally down into that bad well of depression, and dark thoughts. Things did not get better after "waking up" (which is totally ludicrous, because the truth is I did not sleep) this morning, and realizing that the dark walls are all around me.
It has been more than a year since I have seen them. What is really scary is that I allowed them back to my realm again so readily. What happened to that resolve that those times are behind me? That I would take things slowly, and methodically, and with great consideration, so as not to be overwhelmed by things again.
Even now, writing this, I am mentally chastising myself, while trying to escape from the self-made prison of those walls. But, the walls are powered by rockets, and slowed by parachutes.
It'll take a day or two minimum to push things into their place.
But, strangely, I am not worried about that. I am worried how to fix things between Squirmy and me. I love that girl with all all my being. She is my flesh, and I was there, and saw her before anyone did that day she was born.
Words mean things, and I am afraid that we have hurtled off the precipice of a very high cliff....