We skip ahead in time, to the events of the week encompassing 4-19-2008 to 4-25-2008.
To get here, we have to go back in time to when I married Hobbit, on March 14th, 1988. I have blogged about the days leading up to the wedding day, but, never too much about the actual date itself.
When I decided that I wanted to be married to Hobbit, and she accepted, we went about the task of getting married. There were a lot of starts and stops, with dates "set" then retracted. We actually started setting dates the previous August, 2007, with Aug 4th as the first date that I remember we set. But, we were not really sure that we wanted to be married, and the watch-word of the day was "Be Double Damned Sure". See, She had just ended her third marriage, and mine (my first), while officially wasn't over until 1997, had ended back in 1995.
We talked a bunch about getting married, the how's, the where's and the why's. We decided to have a very simple wedding at the courthouse. But the date kept slipping, time after time.
Finally it was decided that we would marry on March 14, 1998, at the Cypresswood Annex of the Harris County Court House. As I recall, that was a Saturday, and I think we got married around 1:00 in the afternoon. My Kids, Her Youngest daughter, my Best friend, and her best friend, that was the whole wedding. The Judge that married us, advised us that as long as the Lord was part of our lives, that we would never want for anything, and that the marriage would last forever.
So, fast forward to 2008, we had just passed our tenth anniversary, finally, I broken the curse of the first failed marriage, and passed 10 years together. During March, late in the month, Squirmy had an accident, and the car was not worth getting fixed any longer. So, I decided that instead of buying a "cheap" used car, which, if you have been around more than 5-1/2 minutes you know there is no such thing as a cheap used car, I was going to buy a new car, with a warranty, and well, no problems for a while.
On Saturday, the 19th of April, we went to the Scion dealership to buy an XD. It was red, and I had it in my head that this was going to be "my" car. (HAH! That did not last at all!) So I picked the color. While we were waiting for the financing paper work to be completed I got a weird "vibe" from Hobbit that something was up, but, honestly, I couldn't put my finger on it.
Turns out that she had been making plans to leave me, probably for more than 6 months. After three days, I confronted her about my feelings, and she confirmed to me that she was thinking about leaving me. That was the afternoon of the 22nd. The night before, we had been to the Cynthia Mitchell-Woods pavilion to see Jimmy Buffet, with a bunch of folks from her work, and that morning, before we left for work, was the last time that I made love to her. Friday the 25th, upon arriving at the house from work, she told me she was leaving then. (I just looked at the calendar for that day, and that is marked as Good Friday.
I recount all that to say that April, and the week encompassing the 19-25 will haunt me until my dying day. I will always look at those dates, remember my history, and wonder, as I did just prior to writing this, and indeed before writing the previous post, what could I have done differently?
What if I had never proposed back in 1985?
What if I hadn't proposed in 1997?
How would life be different? Would I still be alone as I am now? Would I still be dreading that I am going to live a long life, like both of my grandparents?
But, "living in the past" is a form of self pity, that I refuse to stay in any longer. We are not guaranteed tomorrow, and in fact, not even the moment 2 minutes from right now.
I have, and so do you, only this moment right now. Go out and live for the moment. Because, geesh, four years of no sex is starting to become a bad joke. :}
Namaste, My Friends.
See You On The Other Side. -First two rounds, are on me!