So, this weekend, "My Friend That Dances" made an appearance at a club in Charlotte, NC. Which is very close to where another "twitter friend" of mine happens to live, and I know from previous conversations that he is at least as huge a fan, as I am, of hers.
So, I asked via direct message if he was going to be able to stop in and experience the show, for the first time. His response, evoked a train of thought, that brings me here:
"no I won't be able to make it, Don't think my wife would understand LOL" "Otherwise, I'd be there in a heartbeat"
(because of the 140 character limit Twitter has, his answer was in two messages) To which I responded with this series of messages:
"ah, this I understand. as a 2 time loser in the "let's be married" game, I do not think there is a scenario where I could say..." "…. hey honey, a girl I follow on twitter, that dances for a living, is in town, and I would like to go see her…." "Yea, that has "FAIL" written all over it."
He responded back with "very well put, you see my predicament"
So, that got me to thinking about how that, and so many businesses like it, including, perhaps the entire (or 90%) of the adult movie/pictures business caters to the lonely.
So, (again, starting a sentence with "So"? What would Mrs William do to you? -Editor) my brain started down a new rabbit trail as it is oft to do. I tried to imagine if I was married, if I would even think about going to see my Friend That Dances. Nope, I couldn't.
So, (Editor Here- I just caught this in the editing process, and have dope-slapped this idiot! Three paragraphs in a row??) that took me down another thought path, and I remembered my most recent, failed, marriage, and remembered that even back then, I hid that I looked at topless girls on the net. I am unsure if I was successful at it, in fact if I was very honest, I knew that she knew, and that she knew, that I knew, that she knew! (Whew, that was a lot of "knew's!) (Follow the bouncing ball!). In fact, I was known to occasionally, on a late night, take in a "skinamax" soft core production, and I KNOW that I got caught doing that.
Back then, it was just about fantasy, and a little escapism, because truth was, my spouse was everything I ever wanted.
Which brings us to present day. When I suggested to the other fan that he make a visit to see Prinzzess, I forgot that people in stable relationships "probably" don't go see girls dance. In fact, the week before this exchange, I had a similar conversation with a different fan, and he stated that he did not think his girlfriend would understand why he wanted to go. I even helped him scheme a little bit to "sneak" out and do it, and keep the girlfriend in the dark. (Bad, BAD Lee)
So, the end of the tunnel for my thinking this morning was that they (the girls) cater to the lonely dude. I have even commented to a few that they were good actresses because they have to be everything to everyone, all night long. They have to play shy, demure, submissive, dominant, little girl, fantasy, wished for reality, and everything in between, and they have to do it in just a few minutes.
All in the hopes that they get a tip, or a dance, or taken to the VIP room.
And, if they hit the jackpot, and the dude becomes completely smitten by her act, all the better, because then, money flows like a weed whacker cuts through clover in the spring. And the girl has another payday. (AS AN ASIDE : Think what it would be like in your real-live-day-job, if you had to perform like that all day every day, to keep the boss happy so that he would continue to tip(pay) you? Nightmare, you say? That's what dancers go through every night!)
And, if something was to change in my relationship status, I am fairly sure, unless I am dating a porn star, that they are not going to allow me to jump on a plane, and go see Prinzzess dance. And, I am not sure that I would want to even ask, because I would not want it to appear that I am somehow saying to her that she wasn't good enough (or, even, Just Enough). Because if the shoe was on the other foot, how would I feel if she went off, and did those things? Probably, feeling "Not Good Enough".
So, while this part of my life is dominated by these fantasy times, they do not translate well to others. I have been told by folks that they live vicariously through my blogs, where I recount my adventures.
To those folks, I say: I envy what you have, and would do, say, or give, almost anything, to have what you have.
The thing that holds me back? Doing it "this way", means I never open up all the way, and I never put myself in a place where I can get hurt.
Noon on Sunday, nearly, halfway through November, and I realize that I should not go do any of that anymore, but, there is a 75% chance that on the 30th, I will be on a plane to go see Prinzzess dance, one night only, in Oklahoma City. And of course, I hope to see her in December when she returns to Houston. Maybe, even take her for Pie!
And with that last sentence, the realization of just how lonely things are, are made self-evident.
Shalom.
Namaste, My Friends.
See You On The Other Side.
Deo non Fortuna.