So, before I begin to post this, I am going to warn any of my church friends that are coming over to the blog, to read the post about me being in church a few weeks ago, (You can reference that post here, if you are looking for that post.) that THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT CHURCH, AND IS IN FACT RATED “R” OR HIGHER.
Please do not continue on with reading if you are squeamish with adult topics. If you decide to continue from this point on, it’s all on you. Thanks.
So, to start the post, I will refer you back to a previous post about my fascination with “dancers/adult actresses/cam girls”, that post is here. Most people that know me, know that I am a very shy. Those people also know that me doing things out of my comfort zone, just doesn't happen.
So, about a month ago, a person that I follow on Twitter, Princess Felicity Jade, found here on Twitter, REALPrinzzess, (and found here, at her own web site at www.FelicityJade.com (This is a VERY NSFW (Not Safe For Work) Link!) , who is an amazing person, that happens, as her real live day job to be a Model, Dancer, and Porn Star. That's right, Prinzzess is a porn star.
Well, Not really. Because I hate it when people define me as a person, by what I do. I am a normal nerdy guy, that for a job, I work on computers, and in fact maintain the email system for a large medical college in the Houston area. But am _I_ a "Senior Messaging Engineer". No, and neither is Prinzzess. Remember, the only reason we work, is so that we can eat every day, and twice on Sunday's. What you do to earn that money, should not define you. I have beat this subject into the ground, and will now move along.
So, what is she? Well, I do not know much about her, in the grand scheme of things. I know that she is the daughter of missionary parents. I know that she lives in Florida. I know that she is the oldest of the children that her parents produced, and I know that she is close to several of them. She was Home-Schooled. I know that her Father knows about some of the things she does for work, and that her Mother knows only a small fraction of what Dad knows. I know she loves animals, and in fact has a large collection of eclectic pets, including a squirrel and horses.
But, I digress. So, about a month ago, she announced that she was going to be feature dancing, at a "gentleman's club", in Lafayette, LA. About 200 miles from my home, and the target of many a "Lunch in ____" runs, as well as in a previous job, I made 4-6 trips a month there, to fix various computer problems. I said all that to say that while 200 miles is a 3-4 hour blast east on I-10 for me, so, not problem.
At the time of her Twitter posting, I commented to her that she was going to be close to home for that week, and implied that I was considering coming out to see her. She almost immediately posted "OMG, are we finally going to meet?" Now, I knew then that was more a marketing thing more than a "let's meet" kind of thing. I was okay with that, and still am okay with it.
So, I immediately began considering the implications for going to a strip club, because in 49 years on the planet, I haven't been to one at all. It wasn't that I was afraid something bad would happen, but that the Number One Dad Rule always kicked in, and I somehow considered that going to a strip club wasn't good for the family name.
So, over the next two weeks, I teased back and forth with Prinzzess, and another friend of mine on Twitter, Jason Johnson, that if I could screw up the courage, I was going to come out. We kind of bantered back and forth, always with Prinzzess encouraging me to come, and Jason saying that I should go.....
Finally, I DARED myself to go. I DARED myself, because I was nervous about being in a club, and because "someone might think badly about me for going". I knew that the only way I was going to go was to dare myself. So, I did.
About a week before the date (which was the 9th), I quietly went online, and pre-paid for the hotel in Lafayette, at the Holiday Inn Holidome. I didn't say anything to Prinzzess or Jason, but kept up with the "working on my courage" theme. Then on Tuesday, before the Friday, I told Prinzzess that I was coming out on Friday night.
So, Friday dawns, and I packed enough clothes into She to get me through a couple of days, and leaving work at noon, headed east into the wilds of south-central Louisiana. It was a good ride, except that I fought a nasty head-wind the entire trip. It was kind of cold too. I arrived at the hotel at 5:15, after riding out to find where the club was, so that I would not be looking for it in the dark. I found it, and sent a twitpic of the sign to Jason and Prinzzess that I had found the place.
I went to the hotel, and crashed for a few hours, waking up at 8:15. I was nervous, as they used to say, as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Cleaning up, I found myself pacing around, trying to decide when to leave. I even sent a Twitter "How early, is "too early" to arrive at the club, and a Twitter friend responded back "there is no such thing as too early to get your drink on...". So, with that, I put on my riding gear (it was 39 degrees in Lafayette that night, so all the gear was required.) and headed out to the club.
As I walked out to the bike, around 9:00, I received a tweet from Prinzzess telling me that she was getting ready to leave to go to the club. I arrived at the club about 10 minutes later, and pulled all the gear off. The parking lot was moderately full, and I did not see anyone moving around as I was stowing the riding gear.
Taking a deep breath, I opened the door. Immediately in front of me, behind a counter with a cash register on it, a fellow with a Santa hat put his finger in front of his lips in the universal "shh" symbol. To my left, Two people were huddled around an iPhone, obviously doing some kind of interview. As I listened I realized it was a spot for a local radio station inviting people out for the Feature Dancer of the evening, Prinzzess. It was in that moment that I realized the the beautiful woman standing there, was Prinzzess. She looked at me, and I felt like she recognized me, but, she was busy answering questions, so I moved to the register. He explained what the cost was, and why. I explained that I might be on a list, told him my name, and he said, "oh your Prinzzess' guest". Then waved off the cover charge (W00T!-SCORE ONE FOR ME!)
About that time, Prinzzess finished her interview, and she came over and said "Lee", and I said yes. We did the "Nice to finally meet you" thing, and she gave me a hug, and kissed my cheek, and said that she had to hurry because she had a show at 9:30. She then grabbed my hand, and took me through the club, and took me to, who I found out was the club manager, a man named EJ, I was introduced, and she asked him to find me a table, and then said to me "just tell anyone that comes over to sit with you, no, and don't buy any drinks for anyone", then ran for the dressing room.
EJ got me set up with a table near the main stage, where someone was in the process of dancing. My waitress came over, and we did all the stuff that needed to be done to get a tab set up, after which I ordered my first drink. I had eaten about 4 hours prior, so, I was conscious at this point that I was going to have to be careful about how much I drank, one, because I had to at some point ride the motorcycle back to the hotel, and I did not want to do that under the influence, but, more immediately, I did not want to get tipsy, and make a fool of myself in front of Prinzzess.
So, finally, settled in, it seemed like every waitress and dancer came by to introduce themselves, and/or ask if I wanted company. Remembering the advice from Prinzzess, I just politely said no, an they moved on. EJ came by a few times, and walked me through the drink tab process, and making sure I was settled in. Then I looked around at what was going on all around me.
The DJ was winding down the dancer that on the main stage, and starting to prompt the crowd that the feature dancer was next on the stage. I reflected on meeting Prinzzess for the first time, and my first impressions. My first impression, HOLY COW-she was hot. Like Atomic Fire Hot. She is shorter than I imagined from the various films that I had seen her in. She also had these eyes that just burned. It was amazing. And Hot, I think I mentioned that. I even sent a tweet to my friend Jason saying that she was way hotter in person that I even imagined.
So, finally, She comes out on stage, dressed in what can only be described as a naughty pirate wench. She had a great hat, and I loved her boots. As she danced, I kept thinking, "isn't she supposed to be taking clothes off?" Turns out, that was my naiveté about being in a strip club. So, she finished that song, and the next started and she took off the "dress" part of the outfit, revealing a corset and suspenders w/ tights (as my friends in the UK say it anyway, here in the States we say garters and stockings) of some kind. The crowd really started getting into it, and were yelling and encouraging. Money was being thrown into the stage area, but, the dancer just ignored it, and kept dancing. The third song game on, and off came the corset. Woh Momma! I had to remember to close my mouth. This girl was just amazing. She was in this g-string thing, and nothing else. I still cannot tell you what any of the music was, only that Prinzzess is a good dancer, and kept us all entertained, and focused on her.
During this, I was glued into my chair, as if liquid nails had been used. I was torn between watching Prinzzess, and doing my favorite crowd activity, People Watching. Then Prinzzess went to the bag that was on the edge of the stage, and pulled out several rolled up posters of various sizes, and the DJ announced that she would give them away to the loudest patrons around the stage, and she had a quite delightful game worked out for giving the poster out, that entailed sliding it between her legs, and stepping close to the selected patron, and allowing then to grab it with their teeth......it was interesting, and the chosen winner had a great view, and a good time to boot! I continued to sit there, because I was unsure what to do, but, with her last small poster, she walked to the edge of the main stage, looked right at me, and threw it towards me......
After this she retrieved what appeared to be DVDs from her bag, and the DJ announced that anyone with a big bill, $20.00 or larger, could purchase one of her movies. As I mentioned earlier, the manager, EJ, was sitting next to me, and said "Go on Mr. Flowers!" Well, I reached in and pulled out a bill, and walked to the edge of the stage. Prinzzess was doing her thing, and then noticed me. I handed the money to her, and she handed me a DVD, then she realized who I was, and handed me two, and said "Pick One". I didn't even look, and picked one, dropping the other back onto her blanket. I retreated back to my seat. I did not even look to see what the DVD was for a while.
Prinzzess finished up, and walked back to the dressing room that she had been in earlier. I was feeling the buzz from the excitement of the dancing, and ordered another drink, and a glass of water. Thinking that I needed to be careful not to become hammered.
I do not know how long passed, but, it could not have been more than 20 minutes, I saw her come out of the room, and she was arranging some DVDs and Calendar's and other stuff on a counter. The DJ made an announcement that people could go and see what she had to offer. I was just enjoying myself, and looking around watching people (instead of watching the girls that were dancing. Must be something wrong with me, that I was more interested in watching people's reaction to the dancing, than the dancing, or the girl. I seem to recall there were some nice bewbs!) (but, is there really such a things as "un-nice" bewbs?) (No, but I digress, again).
Suddenly Prinzzess came over to my table, and asked me to come sit with her! W00T! Second time in one night that I scored!
So, I gathered up my drinks, and poster, and jacket, and followed her to a small table near the front of the club, and say down. My waitress was close behind to make sure that I got everything moved. She asked Prinzzess if she wanted anything, to which she replied no. I told her that I would buy her a drink, and she responded that she did not drink (or maybe it was "drink much", I was 3 or four drinks in at that point, and can't be sure.)
So, then she handed me a flip book with a bunch of pictures in it. I flipped through, and looked at the pictures, but was more interested in looking at the real thing, since she was like one foot from me. I finished the pictures, and looked around.
She asked me if I was still wanting a calendar, and I said yes. I told her I wanted both of the calendars, and so she signed them, then asked me what my birthday was, and put a special message on that day (so, I have that going for me!).
I remember the first question that I asked was if there were any questions that were off-limits, and she said no, that there were no questions that she hadn't been asked already, and she had answers for anything.
My first question was what did she prefer to be called, because she has a real mouthful of a stage name, Prinzzess Felicity Jade. She said that most people called her Prinzzess, and some called her Felicity Jade, and of course her family calls her by her real name. So, knowing that Prinzzess was what she preferred, I was set. I then asked her what her age was and she said 23. I realized that she was the same age as my Son. Then I kind of felt like an old perv. :(
Following that, I asked mostly "canned" questions, that I knew she would have pat answers for, about her family, and what they know about her job, about her love of animals, and about Belize, which you can tell by the animated way she spoke about it, that she really loved. Of course, she grew up there, so, you can understand that. I think I asked her questions about people that she had worked with, and who she likes and dislikes. She was the class of the field that she did not name names of folks she disliked, but did comment that some of them were "dirty or skanky". I remember thinking that was an interesting comment. When I asked for her to elaborate on that, she deferred.
She took the DVD that I had received from her earlier, and said that she was going to switch it with one that she liked. (I had finally looked at the DVD I picked and it was Net Skirts' 6.0). She shuffled through a stack, and found one called Lesbian Sex Vol. 1, and proceeded to tell me that she really liked it, and she really loved the girl that she performed with in that. I had seen them together in a previous DVD, and they are hot together. The other performer is named India, and she is very pretty, and very desirable. She has that great dark brown hair that I like. I told her that you could tell that the really cared for each other, she corrected me and said that had real chemistry. I am not sure there is much difference. She told me that she was nominated for an AVN for that scene.
Soon it was time for her second set, and she went into the dressing room, to prepare. When she came out, she was in this amazing school-girl type outfit, that was, well, to re-use an over-used word in this post, HOT! Then the Brittney Spear's "Hit Me Baby" song came on, and WHAM, I was no longer people watching. yowza, it was great. For the next song, she took off the top, leaving a thin, cut short, t-shirt, leaving the skirt on, then from the bag she produced a small squirt bottle, and proceeded to go around the main stage, allowing people to "get her wet". yowza is too small a word. Then, much to my surprise, she did the "crooked-finger" come here sign, and so, I got up, walked to the stage, then sat down, she got right in front of me, and gave me the bottle, and I squirted and squirted.....
Remember the Bob Seger song "Night Moves", and the line from the chorus ".....points of her own, way up firm and high"? That was all I saw. Her boobs were like 6 inches from my face and I know that I had the biggest stupidest look on my face ever. After about what seemed like 2 minutes, that was probably 20 seconds, she took the bottle from me, screwed the top off, and then poured the entire contents down her front, "gluing" the thin shirt to her upper body.
I think she finished the set with and Aerosmith song, but, I was under the influence of an overabundance of testosterone, and not really hearing it.
She finished the set, and left the stage, at which point I got to thinking that it would be cool to sit with her in the dressing room, but, I didn't ask, because I thought that was too much.
So, I did what any red-blooded guy would do at this point, got another glass of water, and then followed by another vodka and soda. Then another water, because as a result of raised hormones, and general excitement, I was starting to get that feeling like I was on the edge of getting wasted.
Then, decided to get another drink anyway......
When she came out this time, we talked about taking a picture, and she asked if she could post it on Twitter, and I said yes. Here is the picture...
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| Prinzzess and That's me, with the stupid grin on my face. |
Okay, so Please Note : This picture belongs to Prinzzess Felicity Jade, and I make no claims otherwise. Don't steal it, modify it, re-touch it or do ANYTHING to it without express permission from Prinzzess herself. Don't ask me to intervene, as all I am, at the end of the day, is a simple fan.
So, we are sitting there, and being mostly quiet, I found out that she is as shy as I am, so, I tried to not stare at her, or drool, or anything that would get me in trouble. I remember we talked about many subjects, including, her girlfriend, (but not too much about that). We also spoke about the girls that she wanted to perform with (I think there were 11 on her list), we found out that we both prefer "girly-girls". We found out that we both did not like feet. She ran an idea for a movie that she has an idea about (which sounded super-hot, BTW). I kept wanting to touch her, and having a tough time stopping myself, fortunately, I was able to think with the right head, and not touch her in an inappropriate way. She also revealed that she would be back at Desperados the last week of February, so, I am kind of planning to be there for that. I might even stay two nights to see more. We will see.
She finished signing my poster, my calendars, and DVDs.
Then she told me it was my choice for what she wore for her last set. I don't remember any of the choices, except biker. She smiled, and said that was what she would wear.
During the last set, and no, I do not remember the music, but, the dancing was quite nice (!), she followed the previous format, and when she got to the last song, as she was dancing around the edge of the main stage, she climbed down, and came over to me, and stuck her fine, firm ass right into me. I giggled like a little girl, and had no idea what to do, or say, but, let me tell you, it will be 10 seconds of my life that I hope, always appears first, and last when I encounter those times when your "life flashes before my eyes".
Soon after, they did the "last call for alcohol", and then the ubiquitous "You don't have to go home, but you cannot stay here". I had settled up with my waitress right before Prinzzess did her last dance, so, I picked up my stuff, and went ahead and left. I wanted to stay and say goodbye to Prinzzess and thank her for her graciousness while I was there, but, hearing the guy say it for the second time, I knew it was time to go.
Thanks Prinzzess Felicity Jade. I had a great time, and I appreciate you making my first trip to a strip club as enjoyable as you did.
If you would like to find out more about Prinzzess Felicity Jade, Visit her web site, www.FelicityJade.com. This is an ADULT site. You have been advised. Clicking on the link is all on you.
Namaste. See You On The Other Side.