This is not to say that the night out the previous night had not been enough relaxation, because it was nice and relaxing. But that night had me drinking at a gentleman's club, which is of course a nice way to say a strip joint.
Drinking at a place like that is not unlike drinking anywhere else, except that the scenery is different. Whether you chose to participate in the entertainers games, is the same as you choosing to participate in other customers games at other bars.
Basically, the drinks cost the same. This place was closer to home, so that's why I picked it. But this is not about Friday, this is about Saturday.
So, I am at the bar, and I am drinking my drink, and watching the Olympics on the TV. Yea! Go USA. Anyway, I was sitting there, when a lady came to sit next to me, and while not speaking, made sure that she made enough noise for me to notice her, and look her over. First Impression. probably age appropriate for checking her out more than once. Tall. Dark Haired. Very Dark eyes. And, Lots of cleavage.
So, I turned back to my drink, and didn't say anything. After all, I am not in the mode of meeting people. Several times, she made a noise, that I now think was to get my attention, and so I would look over. She was always looking back.
I twittered, at that point, that a girl was looking at me. With a Smiley face. Then I realized about 5-8 minutes later that there was a young guy two stools down to the right of me. I then decided that she was probably perving on THAT guy, and so, I twittered that fact.
A few minutes later, another noise, and I looked over, and she as looking again. I looked to my right, and the dude I had seen a few minutes before, was gone, and in fact, she and I were the only ones that were sitting on that side of the bar.
Now, I am puzzled.
Maybe she _IS_ looking at me.
Now, I am puzzled (no, that is not redundant, I was puzzled twice in 30 seconds).
I am a middle aged guy, and not attractive, and not really available, so, I am puzzled why she is looking at me. She had ordered, and was drinking a drink, so, I didn't think that she was trying to get a free drink (I have been known to buy a drink for a girl, but, it is not my normal modis operendi).
This time, I screwed up, and looked at her too long, and she spoke to me. I cannot remember the exact conversation, but, I now know that she _was_ waiting for me to pay attention to her. I just prattled on, because I figured that she would soon realize I was an old, boring guy, and would leave me alone.
But, she didn't.
After 15+ minutes of conversation, I suddenly had the thought that she was spending too much time talking to me. So, I started looking for a way to end the conversation. I turned back to the TV, I ordered another drink, I started answer her questions with single word answers.
Then she scooted closer to me. Way into my bubble of personal space.
I mentally freaked out. The chair I was in, had arms, so, I turned my body in the chair, and then turned the chair so that the arm was placed between her and I. She then leaned on the newly proffered arm. NOW SHE WAS WAY TOO CLOSE.
I started thinking about leaving. So, I made an excuse, and asked the bartender to watch my drink, and I went to the bathroom. Coming back, I noticed that she was watching to see when I was coming back, and was still standing right next to my chair.
Sitting down, I drained the drink that was there, and ordered another, and she started up more conversations. I tried to distract her, ignore her, everything, and she wasn't taking the hint.
Then she escalates the festivities, by leaning against me (I had neglected to turn the chair in such a way that the arm was between us), and with that lean, boobage touched my arm. There was no place for me to go. I turned my head, and she was, well, was RIGHT THERE. Like inches from my face. Leaning in.
I tried to lean back, but she followed, and then she kissed me.
Then she put her face next to mine, kind of cheek to cheek, and kissed me again.
By now, Mr Testosterone producing machine has kicked in, and I am going out of my mind, I moved, and put my hand up to ward her off, and she came right around it, and kissed me on the face again, this time, very close to my mouth.
The events that follow are sketchy/hazy. But, it turns out, I still know how to kiss a girl. Even, if I was not planning on it. And the only time that I had recently planned for that eventuality was when I asked a special someone for a kiss, that was, in fact turned down.
So, time passed. I do not know. But, you know the time compression affect that happens when you are in a highly stimulating experience, like say, when you have an accident, and you can remember every detail, right up to the moment of impact, even though you know it happened in .5 seconds, but it seemed like is was 5 seconds.....Yes, that compression of time affect.
When it was over, I was panting. I think I forgot to breath. My hand was on her boob. My other hand was on the side of her face, and I was pushing her away.
She was smiling (I think that is good). I was panting. (This was probably bad).
My Brain, was still under the influence of too much testosterone, and not thinking clearly. I pushed her away, and told her that she should not be doing that, as I was not interested in ANY kind of ANYTHING.
She shrugged, and asked if I was sure, and I turned my chair, and put my back to her, and drained my vodka in one shot. I ordered another, and looked, and she was gone.
Now, if this was the end, it would make a wild story. However I saw her again about an hour later, and she was with several other girls. And they all saw me, and they all laughed.
I was a dare.
I didn't say anything. I didn't get mad. I waited until I could ride, and I left.
The Fates are once again messing with me. Making me think that cute woman might find me desirable. I hate those women (The Fates). Always toying with folks for their own amusement.
Shalom.
Namaste, My Friends.
See You On The Other Side (where I hope they have Absolute Citron on tap).
P.S. Since this increases my count of "women kissed", I can now say,
Dated - 2 women
Married - 2 Women
Kissed - 3 Women
Oh, and to be thorough - Divorced - 2 Women.