Saturday morning, after only about 3.5 hours of sleep, I am up showered, dressed, filled the gas tank, and am on the road to Lake Wales Regional airport.
Today is Sky Dive Day.
Arriving there at 8:30, the hanger is filled with staff doing equipment checks, and inspections getting ready for a busy day. Apparently the company that I booked with is "using" the airplanes to fill the booking that they accepted.
So, I filled out the paperwork, signed my life away, (17 times!), and then singed waivers for everything that wasn't previously, and specifically mentioned. Then it was time to get into the funny blue overalls, and listen to him tell me what I was going to be doing. No videos, and, at least at this place, you don't get to pull you own ripcord. That's cool though, because this jump is in a remote enough area, that we were going to jump from 14500!!
So, time to board! The plane is packed, we are going to be the first ones on the plane, which means we are going to be last off. Slowly the Otter climbed into the air, and making a tight spiral we climbed for what seemed 10 minutes, but, I do not know that.
I watched everyone jump, and then it was time to jump! Unlike previously, we actually stood in the door for probably 3-7 seconds, and I got to look out. It was so beautiful, there was the layer of white cottonball clouds between us and the ground. I remember from the trip up that the were between 5 and 6 thousand feet which is the pull the cord time.
Then, 1, 2, Head back - GOOOOOOOOOOO
I screamed like a little girl for 2-3 seconds, but I kept my hands where they were supposed to be, and then, moments later, I got the tap telling me that I could put my hands out!
You could see everything! It was very cool. We were doing turns, and looking all around. Then what seemed like 10 seconds, but was later confirmed as 69 seconds, the chute deployed. Remember how I said that layer of clouds was? Well, this time we had just entered them, and then the deployed chute pulls us back up, and we are back out of the clouds.
Then we begin the remaining part of the descent, and land on the ground. It was a good landing, with no issues. Then, I got the instructor to sign my book, and he gave me a certificate tha said I was ready to move onto single jumps.
And then, on the road to return to Tampa. I had no other plans for the day, so, I started writing/catching up on blogs.
I knew there was a Fan Fest starting at 2:00 PM today, but, turns out, my "shy" monster decided to raise his stupid head, and I was not able to walk down that hall.
I do not know what it is/was that caused the problem, I just knew in my head that there were a lot of folks in the room, and I was not looking forward to it. So, I did what I have done in the past, I sat near the entrance, and worked on my nerves.
Soon it became obvious to me, that I was not going to be able to walk in the room, with all the lights on, and see all these strangers, and have them see me. It is incredibly hard to be invisible in a room full of people.
So, I did what every coward does in the face of an overwhelming force. I retreated. And off to the bar I went. By now, the folks that were here to see P, were texting me like crazy asking me where I was. I finally told them that I was in the bar, and so they both came to the bar, and we sat and talked about it. But, as is usual, I was not able to talk about it, and me saying "I'm feeling really shy" didn't seem to cover it.
I had a couple of drinks to see if the liquid courage was enough to get me over the hump, but, in fact the alcohol made me even more paranoid about going into that room.
Finally, P, herself sent a text asking me where I was, and now I really felt embarrassed. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have seen P in the light of day, and we have talked and laughed and carried on, so, I knew in a deep place that it was seeing all the rest of the people, and most importantly, them seeing me what was scary.
Finally, the last of her fans were back in the bar, and said I needed to man-up, and go. So, I went,
I walked in, and there she was, a vision of beauty, not sitting at her table but standing up, talking some folks. So, I made the lap of the room. Fortunately it was not a large place, so that took, 11 seconds. I kept my eyes down, and did not make eye contact at all. I saw some folks in person that I previously only seen in pictures, and, I saw people that I had only seen previously at night. Finishing that lap, I noticed that P was still talking to some folks, and so, I walked around the place one more time, a little slower, and saw a few more things.
This time, P was back in her spot, and I walked over and said hello. I was hoping that she would not ask too many pointed questions about why I was late, and make me stumble upon the answers, but, she asked me about the skydiving that I had done this morning, and then we talked about places that we both wanted to do it from.
THEN THE STUPID HAPPENED.
I noticed that she was wearing a silver dress. Silver.
In previously tweeted pictures, I could have sworn that I remembered her wearing a gold colored dress, and so I asked her if she had changed, and she said no, and then showed me the last picture she has tweeted with a fan. It was a silver dress.
Now, I start to stammer, and the "run" command echoed through my head, and Then It Happened. The lady at the table next to P, turned and with a mocking tone, said something like, "yeah she's lying about changing her dress just to mess with you..."
Then P leans over, and with her back to me, says something to the lady who pulled away, looked over P's shoulder at me, and laughed, then P says something else, and the lady laughed again. I have no idea what was said.
But my imagination was that P had made some comments about me, maybe even making fun of me. (See, I have had a weird couple of days!) And, my brain was not able to comprehend that she would do that "to" me.
But, then a reprieve..... some folks walked up, and were waiting to see P, so, I moved away (while she was still whispering to the other lady, so I don't think that she saw me leave), and then P spoke with them for a few minutes, and I stood in the corner and watched, After 3-4 minutes, I did what the RUN voice had been telling me to do all day, and I ran!
So, I went back to the bar, arriving there, M & S were still there, but they were talking to other bar patrons. I went to a different part of the bar, because I wanted 5 more drinks, STAT. I knew i should eat, so, I ordered a burger, and a drink and sat there. I just kept going over in my head that last thing in the fan fest room, and my perception that I was the brunt of a comment.
Then it just snowballed on me, and I imagined in my head every nasty thing that could be said about me. Then I built on those, and as you can imagine the snowball got big quick. I had 2 more drinks at this point. Then M & S noticed me, and beckoned me back to their end of the bar. I was in no shape to be around people at all, so I just shook my head no. Then they texted, and then they called, every time, I shook my head in the "no" manner.
Finally, my burger came, and then so did two more drinks. So, I was up to 6 drinks, and a cheeseburger and fries, and was starting to calm down. I started to go back the Fan Fest room, and talking again, but anxiety kicked in again, and decided as I finished off the last of the fries, that I was just going to go back to the room, and work on blogs.
I walked out, and went back to the room. I wrote and edited, and published several things, I read twitter, and finally, I took a nap.
I woke up around 5:40, and my phone said that I had missed several calls, and I had several texts asking where I was. As I was scrolling through them I received a call from someone, and I answered it, to be asked again where I was, and what was I doing, and where had I gone...
Then they wanted me to tell everything that had happened, and since I did not want to air ANY of that out, because it made me look like a wuss, and I did not want to say anything about what I "imagined" P said about me, because that is all it was, my imagination. I somehow innately knew that anything that I said would be aired out to the others, and possibly back to P herself, because they were her friends, and I was the outsider.
So, I stuck to my guns, and kept my pie-hole closed. I knew this wasn't going to sit well with M, and that she would attempt t goad me into spilling everything.
(Editor's Note: Several hours passed with him blogging, napping, and generally doing nothing)
I was sitting staring into space when the phone rang, and it was S, asking me to take her to a place to get some stuff, and so, I hopped in the car, and off we went. While we were away from the hotel, I get ANOTHER call asking me to bring some stuff back for M. So I did. There was some concern that perhaps I wasn't going that night, because of my attack of the shy that I had experienced earlier in the day but I assured everyone that I was going.
After all, in the dark, bumping place of a strip club, I am mostly invisible.
What none of us were sure about was whether P was going to need a ride or not. I didn't want to text her because I was feeling, well, a little hurt still, and so, I ask M to find out and let me know.
When I returned to my room, almost immediately I received a text from P asking "will you be ready to leave at 10" Are u sober or should I drive?" I responded, "I am ready, sober and willing" ":) I'm your driver after all."
So, I alerted S and M, and got ready to go.
There was some kind of delay in her leaving, but, soon we were on the road, and despite us leaving late, we were still beat all the girls that were in the buses. So, my driving gig auditions are still going well.
This club tonight was a bigger place than the previous nights, and a little more "upscale" if you can use such a word for a strip club. It was all nude, and so, only sold water, and coke. Water costs $8.00 a bottle! Ouch. But there was a bar next door, and you could go there and get a drink, (costs the normal cost for alcohol), and put it in a plastic cup, and carry it next door, and back into the club. I was confused.
Soon the place filled up with porn stars. All kinds of fancy girls, in fancy costumes. And the photographers, and and the handlers, and all the rest (I think in P's case, I am in that "all the rest" category).
This place, in addition to the DJ, they had a dude with a wireless mike that was acting as the MC. Soon the place was bumping.
For the club, it was a regular night, so there were all kinds of regular girls there doing their thing, either dancing or giving table dances or whatever. There were also "regular" customers there that were used to being able to go up to any girl there, and get a table dance for $20.00. I saw at least 2 guys that tried to get Prinzzess to dance, and there were numerous, too many to count, others doing the same to the Caravan of Stars (Editor's Note: Apparently, he has been calling it the "Cavalcade of Stars all this week, and just found out that he was calling it the wrong thing. Sheesh. How he struggled to spell "Cavalcade" every single time, only to find out that its called a Caravan!). It was interesting, because I did see a couple of folks say yes from the group. But, I have a sneaking suspicion that they got more than $20.00!).
And, as an aside, I was right, as soon as I got into the dark club, I became invisible, and was able to relax.
Soon, the evening went to crap. Well, not crap for the entire night, but for a while, crap. M had been pressing and pressing to spill the beans about what had happened earlier in the day, and would not respect my wish to just drop it. During a trip to the Sport Bar next door, to get a drink, I finally told her that I did not want to tell her because it involved Prinzzess, and I did not want to air that out. I also told her that I did not think she would keep in in confidence, even if I told her. Then (and because it was so loud, and I was having trouble hearing) she started saying she knew it had something to do with P, and that anything that happened was my fault because I threw her under the bus. As I said, it was loud, so I asked her to repeat it, and she said that I had done something "to" her and disrespected her. (Editor's Note: If He did something like that, we do not know what it is, and Prinzzess hasn't said anything to us as of yet) (EDITOR'S NOTE: (this is an update to the update!) apparently my bad hearing means that I missed something important. Apparently M said that I should spill my guts, because I had thrown S under the bus, something about her getting her drink on.)
I was thunderstuck. After the suck ass day I had imaging the Prinzzess was talking about about me, in front of me, and causing the lady she was whispering to, to then look at me and laugh out loud, well, it was too much. I finished the drink. I put the glass down, and patting M on the shoulder went to leave. There was some name called towards me as I left that sounded like another name for a cat, but, I didn't stop, and went back to my spot in the club.
I tried to distract myself by watching the house girls do their dancing thing, and participating in a renewed conversation with P, M, and S, about how many girls I had been with, and whatever. It seems like everyone that hears that story think I am lying. Why in the world, if I am going to lie about "the number" would I lie low. I've been with 2 woman. Ever. I am not ashamed of that. The girls then started expanding the conversation themselves, but, because of the level of sound, and because they were close to each other, and could hear themselves, I was soon out out of that conversation, again.
Back to watching dancing girls, and the parade of porn girls that were walking back and forth in front of me. Soon, S and P left to get P ready for her feature, leaving me with M. I cannot say there was an awkward silence, because it was like 120 decibels in that place, but, it was certainly strained. I tried to speak to her and instead of listening, she, put her fingers in her ears, and turned her head. Editor's Note: He tried to reach out twice and apologize, and both times, fingers in ears, and head turned.)
Then she decided that now would be a good time to post some not-nice things about/to me on Twitter. Starting with "You're an overly dramatic schmuck FUCKER", followed immediately by "FUCK YOUUUU!!!", and then to rub a little salt in the wound, she followed that up immediately with the following text to my phone "Your a fucking crybaby", to which I replied, "No, I just have feelings", and she hit me with this "wahhhhhh".
(Editor's Note: It's funny, because at 4:22 AM, she then posted "Your the best" on twitter. Hard to keep up sometimes)
So, soon it was time for Prinzzess to dance. They had a few girls from the "Caravan" do dances, but, they were more stripping than dancing, and I knew that Prinzzess doesn't do that.
So here she comes, dressed in camouflage, and ready to go. The stage exploded in lights, and songs, as she comes out to the reading of the cut down version of her accomplishments, and then she began to dance.
I have said it before, and I will repeat it her. she brings an incredible presence and energy to the stage when she dances. I still like the description that I have used previously, "on stage, she is a, turned up to eleven, spotlight reflecting, glowing from the inside, whirlwind. With a great smile, and a great presence. " And tonight was no different at all.
M asked if I was going to the stage, and I responded that I was indeed going to the stage. I asked her to join me, but, she declined. She did ask me to throw some money out there, and I did, in addition to the money that I had as well.
It was so fun to once again get to see her dance from the edge of the stage. The previous night's dance was in a small area, and the photographers were all shoulder to shoulder, and you couldn't see or even get close enough to easily tip.
Around and around she went. Everyone at the main stage got some attention. Even Me. I was throwing money like a weed eater cuts clover. I finally had relaxed from all the stuff that had occurred during the day, and I was enjoying myself to the max. For my part, she did the "climb in your chair and writhe about my chest, shoulders and face thing that I like so very much.
(Editor's Note: Let's all just face it. He likes any attention he can get from Prinzzess. I fear his #MRPOKNB condition is now fully stage four, and an intervention, or perhaps institutionalization might now be prescribed. I am going to recommend a cooling down period, in the hopes that he recovers, and returns to his old normal self.
So, as the outfit came off, and the dancing increased its fervor, money began to rain down. Soon she came to the two guys to my immediate right, who were nursing what appeared to be warm cokes, and had perhaps 10 dollars between them in singles tucked under the lip of the stage. Prinzzess crawls over, and did her thing in front of him, and he just sat there unmoving, after 15 seconds, she pulled the g-string up, indicating that it was time to tip, and he just sat there. So, she moved to the second guy, and as she did, she lifted her leg up to swing it over his head, and the heel of her boot accidentally caught the guy right in the left cheekbone. (Editor's Note: I told to P about this afterwards, and she was shocked that it had happened, and stated it was and accident. I doubt the guy was hurt, or that it left a mark.) It startled him, but caused both guys to dig out their little stash of money, and give it to her... Fun Times. :)
Because I did not apportion my money well, I ran out near the end of the second song. That was okay. I got my Prinzzess fix, and I needed it. (Editor's Note: He Needed It Bad. He is ill!) returning to the seat near the back, I asked M how she was liking the show, and she nodded. We watched the rest of the show from a distance. When the show ended, she turned on that Million Watt Smile that I like so much, and waving and posing, left the stage. It was a great show.
(Editor's Note: No music score noted, but, we know there was music playing. He was too distracted.)
Oh, Funny story......remember the two dudes that I wrote about before, the ones that Prinzzess accidentally kicked? In the last song of her set, apparently one of the guys went to the ATM and got some more cash, and were throwing it with wild abandon.... (I told you that the MRPOKNB is Very Contagious), then when they ran out of that, one guy, stands up, opens his wallet, and pulls money from there! But the funniest thing about this was the MC, He noticed the same thing that I did, and he said "OMG, These guys have spent their rent money, their child support money, money they owe the IRS, AND NOW THEY ARE USING THEIR POT MONEY! For the love of God, and all that is holy, NOT THE POT MONEY!"
It was another great moment, in a ton of great moments I've had with Prinzzess.
Soon after this, it was time to go, although Prinzzess was great about making sure that everyone that wanted an autograph, or DVD, or even just a few words in conversation, all got what they wanted.
I was parked in the very back of the parking lot, and knew it would take a few minutes to extricate from the packed lot....so, off I go. I carried the pink bag, and found the car. I am not sure, but, it seemed like there was an awkward silence in the car. I am sure that M told S, what had happened earlier, and perhaps that got passed onto Prinzzess, although, Prinzzess was talking to me, where the other two ladies, not so much.
We arrived at the hotel, and I let the ladies out. I got out, and gave S a hug and told her good bye, as she had an early morning flight, and I would not be seeing her again. She is a nice lady, very pretty, and smart. I will miss our conversations at the bar, and her constant reminders that I was too loud. I am too loud. I don't know how to change it.
I parked the car, and went to the room, and took a shower. Nothing like your clothes, and hair and whatever smelling like smoke.
Getting out of the shower, I noticed that in the few minutes that I had been in there, I have missed 4 calls from M. Appears that she needed a bottle opener, and was asking if I had one. I had my little knife, with the bottle opener on it, and took that downstairs to her.
So, I wrote here in the blog for a while trying to get wound down, and make sure that I get all the remembrances logged properly. After all this is for me to never forget.
Soon, I realized that I was hungry, and wondered if they had a burger place open 24 hours. I grabbed the keys, the hotel card key, the license, and the credit card, and after tweeting that I was going out, left the hotel. I did not even put on shoes.
Soon after leaving, I get a call from M, asking if I really left the hotel, and I said yes, and she asked me to bring something back for her. I found a 24 hour McDonald's, and getting 20 dollars worth of burgers, and nuggets, and a extra large dr pepper, I returned to the hotel.
I found a chair in the courtyard, and texting M, to tell her where I was, I began to eat. Immediately my brain was flooded with the "thank you for feeding me chemical", and I started to feel like I relaxed. We spoke for a few minutes, and then at 4:20, I headed back to my room, and the bed.
That's it Folks. Saturday is over. The trip has one more day.
Positive thought's to appease the Fates, that Prinzzess wins this award that she is nominated for. As she stated last night, none of the other girls she is competing against did any kind of feature dance during the Caravan thingie.
As I finish this, it's 12:31 PM (Noon) here in Tampa. After falling asleep at 4:45, I awoke at 10:10. I wrote all that above in one long marathon type-fest.
I hope that you don't forget the lessons you learned here today.
I hope that if you a guest here, reading this, that it was not to convoluted, and that the parts about Prinzzess Felicity Jade, which is really what you came here for were good enough.
I make no apologies for my style, the content, or being honest. Sometimes, being honest to yourself, is an important first step.
Shalom.
Namaste, My friends.
See You On The Other Side.