So, Another thrilling day, and another thrilling visit to Houston by Prinzzess Felicity Jade, herself.
This being Thursday, she only has 2 shows today, but it is a traveling day, so, if I know her, she is going to be in airports, and airplanes all day today. Luckily, her first show of the night isn't until 9:00 PM tonight.
I sent some email to confirm/update that she was willing for me to be her driver while in Houston, and received back some information that she did not think that she would need any driving services, for Thursday (The club typically wants to get her to the club, to make sure she arrives), and another friend was going to be in town, and they would be hanging out for Thursday Night, and Friday. Leaving me, if it worked out, to maybe do some hanging out for Saturday.
So, I decided not to rent the car. Didn't make sense to rent a car to just drive myself around. I have She, and we are not afraid of anything, (well except close encounters with vehicles of all sizes, and livestock of ANY size, and, Oh!, Wind/Rain/Hail, (especially at night!)....Other than that, we are fearless.
So, I think I was supposed to do something that day, (Editor's Note: That pile of old mail, and in fact the entire "To Be Shredded" pile, is not getting any smaller and yet, he STILL ignores it!), but, I decided to watch recorded television all day, and bake cookies (Editor's Note: He said BAKE cookies. At no point did he pour actual cookie ingredients, into a bowl, stir/mix, all he did was take pre-made cookie balls from freezer, and bake for 17 minutes). I think I also cooked some dinner for Bubba and me since we were both home at the same time.
Soon, it got dark, and panicking a little, I thought I was late to leave to see Prinzzess at her first show. Silly me, turns out, it was 5:30 PM. So, I calmed down, and ate dinner, and allowed my brain to think on its own.
This was/is a mistake. Always is a mistake to let the brain think on its own because I begin to think about things that are stuck in the "Think about this later - or better yet NEVER" cubbie. Sure enough this time was no different. I began to think about the last time that I had seen her (Editor's Note: That would have been 9 days prior in Oklahoma City, OK, where he made an absolute fool of himself!!), and the things that I did there, and the things that I said, both written (Electronically), and verbally.
Prinzzess hadn't responded to any of my text or DM's on twitter since that fateful night, except to say thanks for the link to the blog post that I sent to her on Sunday. I did not know if she was just busy, and I was falling under the radar, or, if I had upset her.
So, while sitting there and eating my dinner, and thinking about all of that stuff, that little "shy" monster raised his head, and added to the voices or paranoid, all saying that "You blew it dumbass!". (Editor's Note: (In The Voice of Smeagol, "WE HATES HIM!)
So, 8:00 came, and I knew it was time to leave. I needed to stop by the Pulse machine, and get some cash, and get to the club. Now, I knew from times past, that the 9:00 time for Prinzzess to appear on stage, was at best, a miscalculation, or, just a general guideline that the clubs never follow, but, I didn't want to take a chance and miss anything, So, Off I went. Got some money from the bank, and then headed down the road.
Arriving there, I paid my $10.00 to get into the door, and asked the door lady if Prinzzess had arrived, and was told that she was on the way. So, making me way to the bar, I was greeted by name by the bartender. Now, you have to understand why this is odd. This is NOT one of my designated "adult beverage night (ABN)" places. Mostly because it is further away than my favorite place, and the other reason that it is not a designated ABN place is that the scenery here is not my normal cup of tea. Won't comment further, paint your own picture! So, I have been here 10 times, or less, all told since the first time I came here in late April, scouting out whether it was going to be a good place for P to dance, and make a little money. But, every time, since that first time, the bartender remembers ms, sticks her hand across the bar to shake mine, and calling me by name says "it is good to see you again". I kind of like that.
But, Once again, I digress.
I was sitting at the bar, when I saw the "bar back" rolling in a very familiar blue rolling suitcase, and with my back to the wall, the next thing I see is Prinzzess herself. She was wearing an incredibly tight pair of jeans, and something kind of shirt (it was dark, couldn't tell the color), with a healthy amount of cleavage showing. I Melted. (Editor's Note: He is a sucker for cleavage, especially Prinzzess' cleavage!)
I then tweeted "I remember how excited I was, the first time that I tweeted this: "I see Prinzzess, She's in the building"". (Editor's Note: This would have been the March trip to Tampa, and her appearance their at the Penthouse Club, he was sitting at the bar then as well, and saw her going to see the DJ)
For a while I was happy, and grinning. But, remembering OKC, I was very careful what I drank. I was determined that if I was only going to be there 4 hours, I was only going to have 3 drinks.
Presently, the DJ mentioned that Prinzzess, that world famous triple-x porn star, and model, and this month's Glamour Girl's Feature Dancer, was in the house. Normally, when you go to a club to see the feature dancer, that means that we are 30-40 minutes away from actually seeing her. (Editor's Note: The next call you hear is something on the order of "Your feature dancer is coming up soon" (15-20 minutes), then you hear "Gentlemen, 3 more dancers until your Feature of the night!) (Or, 2 songs times 3 dancers=6 songs, or 10 minutes), then you see the DJ run to the dressing room to warn the feature what he just said). I had the bartender give me my second drink, and I fended off the house entertainers, who are relentless in this place. They were not accepting the "I'm only here for the alcohol" line, nor were they accepting "I am not here to get dances", or lastly, "I am fine for now, and do not wish to have any company" lines.
Time kind of passed, and while I recall that there was at least one more "warning" call that Prinzzess was going to be on the stage soon, I do not know how many there were. Oh well, no big deal.
Pretty soon, I get a text on my phone from PFJ, and she is asking if I am there, and i responded yes, and about 3 minutes later, I heard the DJ start through her new intro, and dissertation of her awards.
Then, here she comes! WOOOOOOOOOOOO She walks out of the dressing room, and towards the stage. She is in all black. Its all leather. There are silvers studs, and spikes, and CHAPS!
Onto the stage she struts! The music is rocking, and of course, as always, she is Smiling, and Posing. Whew, it was intense (Editor's Note: We had to pause there for a few brief moments, just recalling that!).
(Editor's Note: I tried this time to remind him constantly that he need to at least TRY and get some of the music, instead of just grinning like a retard! AND GUESS WHAT?!? He actually succeeded in this TASK!)
So, the first song was Dirrty. The main stage in this club is T-Shaped, with "poles" (though not what is normally seen as "stripper poles") at the end of each end of the "T" part of the stage. Back and forth she went, For some reason, I noticed her shoes, and marveled that for a girl that wears flip-flops all the time, she was wearing some very tall shoes, and making it look easy.
The crowd tonight, was small, but, as I remembered from times past, about normal for a Thursday night. But, No One got up at all. No One Moved. I kept thinking "really, you guys suck". One thing I do remember is that she had two different photographers up there taking pictures while she was dancing.
So, covering my drinks, (to "protect" them from being contaminated!) (HAH), I walked to the nearest edge of the stage. Prinzzess was all the way on the other end of the stage, and presently, turned and saw me, and I would like to think that she recognized me,because her smile got bigger, and she started to strut my way.
I threw a few dollars out, and next thing I know, she is bent over backwards in front of me, and then the next thing that I know, she has her legs on my shoulders, and is"pulling" herself up towards me (Editor's Note: That's as graphic as I am going to allow him to get!). Looking down at her face, and that smile, I said "Welcome To Houston" to which she replied "thanks for coming out" Soon enough, she moved away from me, and, like priming the pump, the little money I put out seemed to un-glue dudes from their seats, of course, it helped that with each song, and little more of Prinzzess was revealed. Next Song, Good ole Rhianna, and S&M. I love this song. But, then I just stayed at the bar, and watched from afar, as she weaved her magic spell on folks. There were several that would go to the stage, throw some money, and get a little attention and then move away, only to come back. She did her "Buy a DVD, and get some "special" attention" feature of that part. For the next song, which was "Gimme More", and now most of the clothes are now scattered all over the stage. For the next two songs, the "feature" was lotion, and dollar bills, and crawling, and rubbing the dollars as you "applied it" to the body part..... Sigh ..... I did all this, because I couldn't help myself. I think my affliction/obseesion was pretty high.
The last song, was Maneater, and now all but the skimpiest of g-strings was the only things that she was wearing. Trust me when I tell you, there wasn't much left to the imagination. Around and Around she Spun, never stopping, and never did her smile leave her face.
I unfortunately, had run out of dollar bills, and so had moved back to my bar seat, and watched the crowd respond to her dancing. Even the house entertainers were tipping her, which I always find fascinating.
Soon, as all things do, Her time on stage ended. There was a big round of hooting and hollering, and clapping, and putting on this cute purple robe, off she went to the dressing room.
By now, I had consumed my second drink, and so, I had the bartender getting me coke, and just worked on calming down. she always makes my heart beat way too fast. :)
Remember up there, I mentioned that there were photographers in the house, taking pictures? Well, at least one of them was for a magazine article that Prinzzess will me featured in soon! So, we didn't see her come out between shows because she was busy with interviews, and having pictures taken.
So, Time Passed, and I realized that it was close to 11:00 PM, and that she should be coming to stage soon, and sure enough, we get the call that she is going to be on the stage soon (15-20 minutes). So, I ordered my last drink of the night, and settled back into my chair to wait for her next appearance.
Next thing, we hear the DJ try to go through her Intro/CV/Resume, completely in my opinion, screwing it up. I mean seriously, all he had to do is read it from a paper! If we can teach dogs to drive a car, why can't we teach people to read a piece of paper?
OUT SHE COMES! Holy cow, my heart skipped a beat. She was wearing my favorite outfit, the one that I first saw her dance in about a year prior, the Black Pirate Outfit. (my heart skipped two beats). The first song that she comes out to is Headstrong, and she just takes off into the dance! This time, I showed a lot of restraint, and did not walk to the stage until 15 entire seconds after she started! (Editor's Note: Take THAT! #MRPOKNB), and I just stood at the far end of the stage, and grinned like a nut! Then decided that I should sit, and found a seat near the stage. Before I sat down though, she had made her way to my side, and I threw a few dollars, and she gave me that big smile, and the kiss sound effect on the side of my face.
As I sat down to watch her, I realized that once again, there was no other audience participation, and while I was thinking about that, she looked around, then stepped down off the stage, and crawled into the chair with me. I do not have any specific memory here. I have sat here for 5 minutes, looking at the note in my phone that says "crawled into my chair with me!", and trying to remember something.
She caused me to black out! Again!
Soon the third song began, which before I write out its title, will tell you I hate this word, and so, I will not spell it out. The song is called {another name for a cat} Liquor. This song, and the next song, Freak On A Leash, both ran together as one, because the stage got busy with many folks coming forward, and tipping, and getting a little special attention. I know that there was the "normal" $20 for a DVD sale, that I seem to recall she sold both of them, and there was water, and dollar bills, and perhaps squirt guns. I was in sensory overload at this point for some reason.
I left her with the last of my money, and moved back to the bar, and got a coke, and closed my tab. I knew that I wasn't going to be staying my longer, because my old stupid friend "shy guy" was back, and he had me convinced that I needed to go. I tried to tough it out, but, it wasn't working, and I was even considering reopening my tab, and getting some liquid courage. But, I didn't.
So, I waited until they set up her little table that she used to sign stuff, and waited for the crowd to die down a bit, because there were a lot of people there to see her. Finally, it was just Prinzzess and one of the house dancers that had spoke to me earlier, Sarah, I think. So, the little voice in my head was screaming that it was time to go (NOW!), so, I interrupted their conversation, Told P I had to jet, and looking confused, she asked why I was leaving so soon, and I said "gotta go". I think I even just shook her hand, and just left instead of my normal "side hug" that I get.
AND I RAN TO THE DOOR. Walking into the parking lot, and to the motorcycle, I finally was able to take a full breath. I have no idea why this happened. I mean, I know that I made a fool of myself in OKC, but, I had been "good" here, and hadn't had too much to drink, nor had I made any inappropriate remarks. And, since I had no conversation with her at all, there was no comments from her, about me possibly being inappropriate. All, I knew at this point was I needed to not be there any longer.
So, I pulled on my riding gear, and I was still shaking, Starting the bike, swinging my right leg over the seat, and onto the pegs, and I began to relax. She has that affect on me.
Leaving the parking lot, and headed home. As I was coming up to the intersection where I would need to turn to go see Amber at my normal ABN place, I realized I was still shaking. So, I made the left, and went to see Amber.
Now this place has a large sign when you walk in that there is a 2 drink minimum, and I knew that Drinks were the Last Thing I Needed. So paying the door fee, I went in and sat at the bar, and said to Amber that I wanted her to give me fake drinks (sprite), and charge me like I was getting the real thing. She said that wasn't neccesary, and served up two glassed like I normally get (I usually, get Absolute on the rocks, with a coke back), so tonight I had a coke and a sprite.
She asked me what was going on, and I gave her the highlights, and not much detail. I don't like to talk abut getting shy. But, I am shy most of the time.
Around 12:30, I realized that I was no longer shaking, and, telling Amber goodbye, I headed home.
I think that is enough for this retelling. Warts and all, once again, you get to read it here.
Shalom.
Namaste, My Friends.
See You On The Other Side.
Deo non Fortuna.